34. Curious Reflections

It takes two to Tango?

Here they are, Mariama and Cristina trying to Tango!

As they say, "It takes two to TANGO"…

So I would take this image as a very real metaphor of our relationship.

Mariama leads, Cristina follows, which in real life people may be seeing it quite differently!

As you try to learn on the floor, the new steps, the new rythms, you also try to understand that the rules of dancing are not less demanding as the rules of relationship.

You know you are doing the best you can, but you can’t help it to feel so aware of your observers.

Dancing together in a place where there are many eyes looking at you.

Some may just look, others may comment, others may just enjoy… but you don’t know really, who is judging and who is not.

Do we take any notice? Do we stop and come back to the floor when we can do it “perfectly”? Are we embarrassing ourselves here? Do we look good together, do we look well together? Would we ever be able to dance Tango together?

The mind goes wondering, wondering, wondering. Loosing its purpose, loosing its point.

What was the point of learning to dance together, anyway?

Ok, lets go back to step one.

-Hold tied- said the teacher.

–Look at each other. Decide who is going to lead. Mark the steps in your place first. When you are ready, the leader will gently but firmly, push her hand against the back of the follower partner. The follower partner must start.- And here we go, we start to Tango.

-Oops, aush! I have just stepped in your foot! -Sorry- I said.

-Should we try again?-

Ok, lets continue with the instructions.

-If you loose your step, just stop and start again.-

-First, mark the steps on your place, than follow the group, keep looking at each other, and eventually you will start to dance-.

Uf!, this is Tango, this is the dance of the relationship.

Frustration, laughter, disappointment, wanted to be the leader, wanted to leave the leadership, tiredness, but ultimately a sense of achievement.

Maybe we did not learn the best Tango dance, maybe it is not our priority to learn it perfectly now, may be it is just for fun, just to get a bit closer to the truth of who we are. Maybe we will never dance the perfect Tango.

Perhaps we are judged by those who have Tango for longer, or maybe by those who have not Tango at all! It's ok, it is only one perception of the Tango dance.

To TANGO is never easy; to dance in a relationship neither! But the sense of satisfaction to learn not just from each other, but from others is the greatest reward of the process of Tango.

To Tango, it takes more than two, I would say, it's just that you are in the centre, and the rest is watching.

La Menche